Obviously the Oscars is fresh on everyone’s mind, and the end of awards season has every fashion blogger both sighing a sigh of relief that they can finally relax, and simultaneously being super sad that all the big events are over for the year. Almost as big event as the awards themselves was the Vanity Fair Oscars party, which is sometimes even more interesting fashion-wise because people who don’t quite make the cut for the Oscars manage to sneak their way in. There are two particular dresses that stood out to me. Not because they were particularly groundbreaking. I mean if Lady V. Hervey did it first (in which the V stands for Vagina) (Not really, but please google her and then tell me that it shouldn’t, I dare you), you should probably rethink your game plan. No, but because the fight to see who can get the most naked without actually being pornographic continues. Miley Cyrus was surprisingly covered up (and I can’t even get a proper photo of her to show you, that’s how little drama she caused!), so I am of course talking about
Source (Rita) Source (Irina)
I’ve always thought Rita Ora was a gorgeous girl, but this really doesn’t do her any justice. Maybe its just a bad shot, but that netting just seems to be highlighting imperfections on her body that actually aren’t really there at all. It’s CREATING imperfections, that’s how evil this dress is. I have next to 0 idea who Irina Shayk is besides the fact that she’s a model, and that’s probably all I really need to know. She does, admittedly, look extremely good in it, but she’s probably the kind of person who looks sexy in a onsie, so the dress really is not aiding her at all, she’s just hot. I hate both of these. I’m definitely no prude but it’s hard for me to find anything with that much netting and that little fabric not tacky. I’m inclined to like Ora’s more, mostly because it would take less alterations to take it from “HOW MUCH MORE SKIN CAN I SHOW I’M HOT OKAY COULD I POSSIBLY TRY ANY HARDER” to “yeah you’ll have to work to see the rest ;)”. Honestly if you covered just that little rack of underbutt with fabric, I wouldn’t have nearly as huge a problem with this. Sure it might be scary to walk around or move at all in, but it wouldn’t be showing any part of the body that you would never be able to see in a variety of other dresses (backless, mini-dresses, slits up to your thigh, etc). Irinia’s I can’t really deal with, because it seems that her only aim with that black fabric was to have it cover her privates. Why not just wear a bikini and be done with it? Ora’s seemed to be more.. fashion focused? Obviously we’re all focusing on that underbutt but there seemed to be more design and thought in the rest of her dress over Irina’s.
And after closer inspection, IRINA IS NOT EVEN WEARING A DRESS SHE IS A WEARING A BODY STOCKING THAT HAS BLACK BITS OF MATERIAL HANGING OFF IT. LOOK AT HER LEG ITS JUST A STOCKING.
Overall though, I’m gonna to give this one to Irina. Because she’s a model, and her literal profession is to have a hot bod and show it off to everyone. She could be getting business deals RIGHT NOW from people looking at these pictures and being like “yeah she got dem thighs and dat stomach she can totes walk our next show”. Rita is a singer. There are plenty of singers who fall into the category of could-be-wearing-clothes-but-that-also-could-be-a-rag-i’m-not-sure, and power to them if they’re confident with their body. But these are both awful dresses and Irina’s serves a purpose and Rita’s does not.